Why Connection Matters at the Executive Level
By Marsha Koelmel, Catapult President
In my work with executives, I’ve noticed that some leaders build trust and connection almost effortlessly. People talk In my work with executives, I’ve noticed that some leaders build trust and connection almost effortlessly. People talk openly with them. They share concerns early, challenge their thinking, and tell them things they may not necessarily want to hear. Other leaders, often equally talented, accomplished, and well respected, don’t get that same level of candor.
That difference has always interested me, because at the executive level, connection isn’t simply about being warm, charismatic, or well liked. It affects what people are willing to tell you, and that affects the quality of the information you have, the decisions you make, and ultimately your ability to lead.
Why connection matters in leadership
The more senior a leader becomes, the more their effectiveness depends on other people.
Executives make decisions based on information others provide. They rely on leaders across the organization to identify emerging risks, challenge assumptions, surface opportunities, and translate strategy into action. The quality of those relationships directly affects the quality of the information and perspective available to them.
This is where authentic connection becomes more than an interpersonal skill. It becomes an executive leadership capability.
The cost of disconnection
It makes sense that when people trust a leader, they are more likely to speak candidly, raise concerns early, offer a different point of view, and admit when something is not working. They are also more willing to engage in the productive disagreement that leads to better decisions.
Without that connection, information can become filtered as it moves upward. People may hesitate to challenge the leader’s assumptions, deliver bad news, or question a direction once they believe the leader has made up their mind. The executive may believe they are receiving an accurate picture of the organization when, in reality, they are seeing a carefully edited version of it.
I have noticed that this risk increases as leaders become more senior. Authority creates distance. People pay closer attention to an executive’s reactions and adapt their behavior accordingly. A dismissive response, an impatient interruption, or a pattern of quickly rejecting opposing views can teach people what is and is not safe to say.
Executives who build authentic connections reduce that distance. They create the conditions for candor, challenge, trust, and shared accountability, all of which improve their ability to lead.
Authentic connection begins with curiosity
One of the most powerful ways executives can build authentic connection is through genuine curiosity.
Executive leaders are expected to have answers. They are rewarded for judgment, decisiveness, expertise, and the ability to move an organization forward. But those same strengths can become limiting when certainty replaces curiosity.
The most effective executives know when to shift from “Here is what I think” to “What am I not seeing?”
They ask questions before advocating a position. They seek perspectives that challenge their own. They notice when someone has not spoken. They are interested not only in what someone thinks, but why they think it.
This is not about becoming less decisive. It is about improving the quality of the information on which decisions are made.
Curiosity also signals something important to others: your perspective matters here. Over time, that creates the conditions for candor, productive disagreement, and stronger executive dialogue.
How executives can assess their own impact
The challenge is that leaders are not always the best judges of how connected they are to others. Intent and impact can be very different.
An executive may intend to be efficient and be experienced as dismissive. They may intend to demonstrate confidence and be experienced as unwilling to reconsider. They may believe they have created an open-door culture while the people around them have quietly concluded that certain topics are better left unraised. That makes feedback particularly important.
Executives might ask themselves:
- When someone disagrees with me, what happens next?
- Do I ask questions before offering my own point of view?
- Whose perspective do I routinely seek and whose might I be missing?
- How quickly do emerging problems reach me?
- Do members of my leadership team challenge one another openly when I am in the room?
- What behaviors of mine might unintentionally make candor more difficult?
For senior leaders, 360 feedback, executive assessment and candid conversations with trusted colleagues can be particularly valuable because they reveal the gap between how leaders intend to show up and how others actually experience them.
Connection is a leadership capability
Authentic connection should not be confused with likability.
Executives do not need everyone to agree with them, nor should the pursuit of connection prevent them from making difficult decisions, holding people accountable, or creating productive tension.
The objective is something more consequential: creating relationships strong enough to support candor, challenge, trust, and shared accountability.
That becomes increasingly important as leadership responsibility grows. Senior executives depend on others for information they cannot gather themselves, expertise they do not personally possess, and execution they cannot directly oversee. Their effectiveness therefore depends not only on their own judgment, but on the quality of the relationships and conversations surrounding them.
Some executives build those relationships naturally. Others need to be more intentional. Either way, authentic connection can be developed through self-awareness, curiosity, feedback, and practice. Because at the executive level, the question is not simply whether people like or respect you. The more important question is whether people trust you enough to tell you what you need to know.
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